holy jebus. Things have been absolutely balls to the wals, lately... some good.. some bad. I hooked up with someone that I never in a million years thought I would hook up with. It was pretty amazing. Liiike someone I've known since I was 5. bwahah.

oh and one of my best friends ALSO hooked up with someone.... back about 2 months after Joe broke up with me... OHH and that someone she hooked up with was joe. seriously. downward spiral life effect starts........... now.

I thought I would take the news a little better. I took it great at first, but I think that's just because I was drunk and about to get laid.... Then i started sobering up and realizing that hey... my really good friend kept this from me for a year and a half... and she fucked my ex-boyfriend while I was still crying over him....

It's not the fact that she banged Joe... well... I mean kind of. But, I'm not sad about that. I don't give a flying fuck about the son of a bitch. But it's the fact that I was betrayed. And also... if i would have found out about it right after it happened- I would have been devistated. It would have killed me for realsies. I feel like I'm the only one standing here with my hands in the air like...what the fuck.

It's pretty amazing and sad how casual sex has gotten.

BESIDES that. I havent updated this thing in a super long time. Over a year. I wonder if anyone is even reading this?

I wanna kiss this day goodbye cause I am sleeeeepppyyyyyyy. I've been at work for almost 12 hours.

Little Bri graduated last night! crazy. Her graduating class had like 100 kids in it.. and they gave them all bibles and prayed and stuff. It was weird. public school, too.

Afterwards, we all went to my moms house for dessert... and when I see "we all" I mean.. like... my dad and his fiance...(and bris friends and dons family)..... It was ODD. If you know my parents, you know why... but things actually didn't go too badly. I was nervous, because my parents couldn't even get along in the hospital when Jayden was born. My dad stayed on one side of the house, my mom mingled on the other. I sat with my dad so he didnt feel so weird... but, it was nice. To have both my parents there...weird, but nice.

Things are panning out really oddly, lately. I'm not digging it. I'm learning to be stronger, though... and really stand my ground. Which is something that I'm not used to doing. I usually give in. But I can't this time. I don't want to be this persons friend. Come to think of it- it's not that I don't want to.. it's that I can't.... and i'm not talking about Joe. I wouldn't be his friend even if I got paid a large sum of money.

I just really need to put my foot down, and surround myself with people that don't completely fuck with my head.

I miss Tiff... and Amy... and Quick and Court and Nick. yikes! I wish my friends lived closer by, but I don't blame them. I would get out of Michigan in a split second if I had the chance.

done! :)

I wanna drink wine. I found a box of yummy stuff at CVS on sale for like $6. 5 liters. I should have bought 3 :) juust teasing.

So I'm going to Milwaukee for summerfest in the begining of July. I'm so excited. AND the zombies are playing... so I'm stoked on that, too.

theeeen I'm trying really hard to afford a plane ticke to Vegas to visit Tiff and my family. Plane tickets are like $400 at the cheapest. wtf? that sucks. I NEED to go. my life depends on it.

I'm working at the WAB this weekend. Friday and Saturday. So if any of you get bored, come see me... have a beer... or 2... or 3... or whatever.

2 more hours and I get to leave work. yay! and then hopefuly go home to a house NOT full of 5 children. Heidi is SUPPOSED watch her nieces and nephews and her sisters house but instead has them ALL over our house most the time. That shit drives me nuts. I don't really like that many children. Love Jayden to pieces. But he's the only one I really enjoy. I used to LOVE kids. all children. Then I had my own.. So, it's not really fun hanging out with other peoples when I have my own to hang out with. haha :o)

mmmkay. Garage sale season, here I come! I'm gunna buy the shit outta everyones garbage.

ugh. stress stress stress. kiss my ass.

I've been working 3 jobs lately, and It's finally starting to catch up with me. I've lost weight (thank god) due to not even being able to have time to eat. One job to the other. Next week should be semi-relaxing because I only have to work 1 job everyday. phew.

but the week after that- it's on. I finished all my training at the WAB and I start serving tonight. woohoo. come hurass me, everyone. come one, come all. Drink some killer beer.

Jayden had a photoshoot last night, so be prepared for some annoyingly cute pictures of him shortly. I know everyone is soooooo excited. and stuff.

I need to try my hardest not to be so socially awkward anymore. I feel like I just have a weird sense of humor, and you get it or you don't. and if you do- awesome... if you don't - i just look like a big fat stupid awkward weirdo. so start gettin it, kay?

I should do some work. I've been slacking all week long. Things have been nuts. Court custody shit, and work shit, and boy shit, and jayden diaper shit.. mmmhmm..

I might go to chicago next weekend. I wanna soooo bad.

sooo i'm 23. huraay for me! My mom called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday and asked me if I feel old. i said no- but asked her if SHE felt old. And she said yes. gotcha :)

The little kids at the daycare all hid until I dropped jayden off and then popped out with bubbles and swords yelling "happy birthday" It was super cute :o)

soooo my friend Nick and I drank a bunch of beer, and then decided to make and sell these things:



it's a mustache! I'm putting hooks on the bottom so you can hang keys/jackets from them. love it!

I am ooouuuttt...

Minus the Bear still holds a little key to my heart. I wish they weren't so dissappointing live, though. drag.

um. I deleted my last entry. sorry about turning all dashboard on everyone. I blame it on... ummm.... I dont know. I've got nothin.

My birthday is slowly approaching. yikes! I'm probably going to go to the bar with some friends by my house, if anyones interested. If not- go to a bar by your house and have a drink in honor of me being the measly age of 23.

My grandma from vegas is coming in to town, and I have to see her on Sunday. Which means I probably should have started starving myself about 6 days ago. She always has somethin to say about my weight. Sorry I used to be 100 pounds, and then... ummm.. grew out of my 12 year old body. haha. I gots an ass, grandma! god. last time I was in vegas, she told me that my arms were getting fat.... and my arms are the skinniest part of my body. ohhhh old people. love em.

I start my orientation for the WAB on Wednesday. I'm excited to start serving again. The money is great, and you get to meet all sorts of new people. maybe some handsome gentleman will sit at my tables. meh!

I have no good gossip. This is new to me. hm! I miss Amy :( I lost her to Texas about a week ago. how sad.

someone come install a pool in my backyard for the summer. I would love you.


okay.

This weekend was okay. i give it a 7/10.

Friday was Scotts "surprise" birthday party. at least it was SUPPOSED to be a surprise before he ruined it. haha. He had to work early saturday morning. This we did not know when planning the party. So, we had the surprise planned for 11pm at 17th street. He was whining cause he wanted to be home and in bed by 11... sooo i had to end up telling him to get him to the damn place. He still acted surprised which made me laugh a little. Cause everyone thought he didn's have a clue, but me.

Then saturday we went to a show at the crofoot. I don't even remember the bands playing, and I was telling knock knock jokes. If that at all tells you what state of mind I was in. ummm ohh and yea. I cut my bangs. seriously whoever thought it was a good idea to give me beer and scissors. The cut isn't bad- I just look terrible with bangs. TERRIBLE. i'm fucked. I kinda look like a 12 year old with a bowl cut/ mullet... or something. I dont know- not my thing.

Oliver has these toys with bells in them and he plays around with them at like 3am. He's psycho. super cute, though. He sleeps like 90% of the time. Im jealous. Jayden says his name really cute. He says "oviver"... i love him :)

back to work. uuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhh.

Since I won't be providing Jayden with a brother or sister ANYTIME within the next.... idk... years.... i got him a cat.

His name is Oliver. He's super cute :)



that's Preston... my roommates son. red head. hahaha.

oh. and here there are again:



that is all.

I had a really really odd dream last night. It was me and a bunch of people- some i knew and some i didnt know. I'm talking like hundreds of people. and we were all trying to swim/boat/paddle across the ocean. It was weird. And the whole time, i remember being really scared that I was going to get attacked by a dolphin. mmeeehh.

ive been picking up some hours at the juicebar to help my former boss. It's kinda fun- i miss that place a little bit.

Scott moves in like 2 weeks, and Amy moves in 2 weeks and 2 days. talk about not having any friends left. rawr.

speaking of not having any friends left... Here's the one that i DO have left:



and this little guy is stuck with me!! muahaha...

jesus christ- things have really panned out the complete opposite thatI was hoping for.

Sometimes I get majorly depressed about having a child at such a young age. I know that I did the right thing, and I love Jayden more than anybody in this whole world. But- sometimes it just kinda sucks not being able to be a 23 year old. or a 22 year old. or a 20 year old. I really missed out on all those years, and I'm not blaming it on anyone but myself... it just occasionally hits me pretty hard.

that is all!!

xo.

Okay i'm in a really bad mood today. Ugh. I wish I didnt have to depend on at least 3 cups of coffee a day to keep me awake. and, I wish that i didnt have such a horrible headache last night that kept me from sleeping, because it traveled down into my neck. I also wish that Scott wasnt moving in 3 weeks. and I wish that Amy wasn't moving in 3 weeks, either.

seriously, you all keep moving out of state and I have no friends left in the state of Michigan. Dumb!

So anyways, I want to pick up a second job for a couple days a week. I'm thinking waitress, or cocktailing? I'm really good at it, and I sure could use the tips. any suggestions?!

x. name = Courtney
x. birthday = May 2nd
x. piercing = Just my ears.
x. tattoos = 0
x. height = 5'7
x. shoe size = 8
x. hair color = blonde
x. length =medium?
x. siblings = a million. the ones that matter- Nicole (20), Brianna (17) and Marky (15)
x. pets = Jayden and preston.

last...
x. movie you rented = probably saw 3 or something?
x. movie you bought = Across The Universe
x. song that was stuck in your head = "i want you so bad (she's so heavy)"- the beatles. I think that's what it's called.
x. song you've downloaded = Rocky Votoloto- White Daisy passing.
x. cd you bought =noooo idea. Probably norah jones. THAT long ago.
x. person you've called = my mom
x. person that's called you = Scott :)
x. tv show you've watched = American Idol
x. person you were thinking of = Scott.

do you...
x. have a crush on someone? = major.
x. wish you could live somewhere else = yes. LIke a different State. Like away from Joe.
x. think about suicide = never.
x. believe in online dating = works for some people- not for me!
x. others find you attractive = i think!
x. want more piercings = i dont think so.
x. want more tattoos = im probably getting one soon.
x. you like cleaning = i like the end result. Heidi and I just cleaned our house spottless.
x. you like roller coasters = LOVE them.
x. you write in cursive or print = a combination of both.
x. you carry a donor card = i have it written on my liscense.

for or against
x. long distance relationships = for
x. using someone = not if its manipulative
x. suicide = against
x. killing people = For. kidding.
x. teenage smoking = haha oh man. I owuld just reccommend not smoking 2 in a row. Like me and tiffany did once. ew thought we looked cool and then had the stomach ache of our lives.
x. doing drugs = um whatev. Don't abuse them.
x. driving drunk = that's retarded.
x. soap operas = used to be into all my children. Back when I smoked pot everyday. haha. Amy and I would wake up, smoke, make a huge breakfast and watch it. Once you understand what's going on, it's addicting.

favorite...
x. food = perogies. random.
x. song = Right now, it's probably "something" by the beatles. or "time to come" by the Shins.
x. thing to do = Scott :) hah kindding. kinda. ummm hang out with jayden.
x. thing to talk about = gossip. and boys.
x. sports = baseball.
x. drinks = jack and diet.
x. clothes = ones that aren't too expensive.
x. movies = Across the universe. Jayden is obsessed with it as well.
x. band = The Shins.
x. holiday = ummm. i dont know, actually. Thanksgiving maybe?
x. cars = i dont really give a flying shit about cars.

have you...
x. ever cried over a girl = umm no.
x. ever cried over a boy = umm yes.
x. ever lied to someone = to be hurtful- a couple times. to be funny- all the time.
x. ever been in a fist fight = haha no. my sisters and I really used to go at it when we were younger, though.
x. ever been arrested = no! thank god!!

what...
x. shampoo do you use = herbal Essence usually. I'm not at all picky.
x. perfume do you use = Christian Dior
x. shoes do you wear = I usually wear my black 4 inch heels everyday.
x. are you scared of = death.

number...
x. of times I have been in love? = I don't even know. Once with jayden, that's for sure. Beyond that- I dont know what the hell the past 4 years of my life was.
x. of times I have had my heart broken? = Like twice.
x. of hearts I have broken? = probably none.
x. of boys I have kissed? = Tiff, Christine and I used to keep count in a journal. Ummmm we stopped doing that.
x. of girls I have kissed? = hah! I was 18 once.
x. of continents I have lived in? = 1
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = probably about 5.
x. of people I consider my enemies? = like 2. For good reason. the word "enemies" is kind of a dramatic word though. haha.
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = 0. well- I talk to sarah sometimes.
x. of cd's that I own? = i-pod!
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = Couple times.
x. of scars on my body? = a lot. especially since I started drinking too much Jack Daniels and thinking it's funny to dive into bushes and down stairs and stuff.
x. of things in my past that I regret? = 1.... Joe.

I'm minorly obsessed with "across the universe" at first, I didnt think I really liked it. But for some reason I keep wanting to watch it.

Tonight, I am going to Scotts show. He's playing with Mustard Plug. hahahaha.

and tomorrow i somehow got suckered into going to a wedding with Steve Winters. He's IN the wedding.. so, i plan at sitting at the reject table and getting drunk with strangers. I couldnt pass it up.

Lately, i feel as if I have been enjoying putting myself into awkward situation for entertainment purposes. I'm not sure why... why do i have such a sick sense of humor?

I love my new house in ferndale. We need furniture. Like a couch. Joes stepmom is probably gunna give us one that shes not using. Then, our house will come together perfectly!

that is all.

Im working on a scrapbook for Scott for when he moves. April 8th. UGH. Something small... but, nice.

Jayden gets his cast off on April 7th... poor thing :( He broke his leg for those of you who dont know. Going down one of those inflatable slides... 2 years old with a broken bone- i feel terrible. I havent broken 1 bone my whole life, and my 2 year old son is already in a full leg cast. he does really well with it. He walks around on it and everything. He looks like a pirate with a pegged leg, though. or like tiny tim... haha Jayden.

Joe is pretty much about on my last nerve. srsly want to smack him in his big fat stupid face.

im falling asleep. I wish i didnt have to work all day :(

HEY!

I'm having a housewarming party tomorrow. Everyone is welcome.

Ferndale... BYOB... 10pm.

lemme know if you need my address!

cya there if you're cool and know what's best for you :)

update:

channing (joes girlfriend)is not moving to florida like she was supposed to, unfortunately. She needs to get the fuck out of here. before i punch out all the teeth she has (she is already missing one on the side. amy winehouse style.)

Scotty, ont he other hand, IS moving to Seattle April 1st. God help me. ugh.

i get frusterated a lot, because it always seems to me like Joe gets whatever he wants and things fall into place to nicely for him. UGH.

Scott is comeing over tonight, and we're gunna hang out with jayden. Jayden talks nonstop. everything is "why?" or, "what are you doing?" and he's really into telling people to shutup lately (he got that from preston.. the little boy that lives with us).... it's sort of embarassing when an elderly woman came up to him at the store the other day and said "hi, well aren't you handsome?" and he responded with "shut UP!" rude, rude boy.

So i told Joe that he can only have Jayden one day a week. Theres no way hes getting him more than that. especially with channing around 24/7. She's such a twat. her and Joe are a pain in my ass. I went over there yesterday to pick up some stuff and to drop some stuff off, and Channing plopped herself right next to joe, and put her feet over him. he started rubbing her legs and she looked and me and snickerd. hahahah. but really on the inside- I was the one snickering because she has a poor excuse for a boyfriend. I will let them both think what they want, but in the end they are the ones who are going to be royally fucked.

I get out of work in 10 minutes, and that is 10 minutes longer than I would like to stay at this point. I need furniture in my house. gotta wait for my tax returns back! I need to get my house in order, and get rid of some more boxes.

drag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soooooooooo.

Scotty met Jayden last night. They got along better than I could have imagined. We went to 12 oaks, and visited the pet store, pet puppies, got smoothies, and played in the center for a good hour and a half.

Jayden took to him so well. He didnt even wanna hold my hand at the mall, he wanted to hold scotts... or make scott carry him. It was really cute. i'm happy :)

Joe has been sending me a slew of emailes lately. If anyone is interested in me posting them, I totally will. pretty fucking great. he is SO lucky that I am confident in myself, and can laugh at the totally outrageous, untrue things that he says to me. For example, he called me a "low life blood sucking scum bag" hahahahaha- that makes me laugh out loud.

I am in need of a serious vacation. Scott and I are probably going to get our shit together and take one to Vegas. His best friend lives there as well. It isnt an expensive vacation, either. 80% of my family lives there.. and Tiff... so- I would not have to pay for a place to stay. AND- my Grandma will cook for us whenever we want her to... so, we won't have to pay for food, either :) The only thing we would have to cover would probably be airline- and drinks. lots and lots of drinks :) can't wait!

oh la la! I'm in my new house! It's SOOOOO cute. I love it. I'm going to have a mini house warming thing sometime soon perhaps. If anyone is in Ferndale, hit me up and come visit! the only things I have in my fridge so far are 4 PBR's, and a 5th of whiskey in the freezer. is that bad? Wait no- I have bagels as well. someone needs to go grocerie shopping (me.)

I went through most of my shit while unpacking, and I am donating 4 HUGE garbage bags full of clothes to the salvation army. That's not even including all of the clothes that Cassie took. im probably going to let more of my friends go through them before i take em in. I want them outta my house!

I'm goin to Scottys show on Friday. I'm excited :) Amy and Heidi are soming with. there will be drinking involved. it's at smalls in hamtramck. Which is funny- cause thats where joe and I hung out for the first time. hes an iddddiiiooootttt. I had to use my fake to get in there- that makes me laugh. Now i'm gunna be 23... woohoo.

okaaaaay boredem is taking over, mixed with a little a.d.d.... im outta here!

YO.

i've been listening to the shins nonstop lately. I go through phases of it, and I love it right now. Jayden has become pretty obsessed as well.

I made Scotts valentines day gift yesterday. HAH. i'm good. We're hanging out tonight, because he has to work tomorrow.

I'M MOVING! Finally. jesus. Friday, I will be a resident of Ferndale. You can walk to the WAB from my house. Im pretty excited about it.

So, Joe has been psting bullitens on myspace/sending mass text messages about how hes having a party at the house on saturday. This makes me laugh. its a party for our friend Dee, who is moving to CA.... and in his messages, it says "peace out party for Dee... and Courtney, who is finally moving the fuck out"

HAH! so, hes telling everyone that it is "hippie themed" which is funny. So, i thought it would be a good idea to invite all of my friends, since the party is in honor of me and all. Except, i will tell them all it's pirate themed. I will watch all my friends, and his friends show up with complete opposite themes. and then get drunk and laugh. Who's in?

I get my taxes back in a couple of weeks. Im buying 4 major things with it:

-laptop
-Plane ticket to Vegas to visit Tiffy.
-Plane ticket to Seattle for when Scott moves there in a couple months :( :(
-Train/plane ticket to Chicago.

can't wait. SO excited I am getting so much back. I have enought o buy all of that, and still put a couple grand away for savings and rent and stuff.

back to work!

Cassie had to use me and Scott as a photo project for school. the results look like something out of eharmony.com. hah!

This isnt a good idea:



because of this:




just sayin.

Scott and I are dating now. We're pretty cute. srsly.

We're going to see Will Ferrell and Dimitrie Martin tomorrow. It should be fun.. going with my friend Erica and her husband Justin. I hope they're prego :) They've been trying for a really long time. They deserve it.

I went to the red wings game on friday night. I drank a lot of beer. Went to the old shillelaghs in Detroit and told everyone it was my 25th birthday. I have a lying problemo when I drink. Everyone was singing happy bday to me and buying me drinks and stuff. That was way too easy. My beer cup was empty, and some dude walked by me,a nd he had just bought a pitcher of beer. and I was like "hey. my glass is empty" and he totally filled it up. piece of cake.

im super tired. and im at work. yawn.

Jayden is getting huuuuge, and I want to go on a vacation.

that is all.